To set goals or not to set goals, that is the question…

It’s that time of year again when people make lofty new year’s resolutions for themselves and then sometimes (unfortunately) give up on them come January or February. For some, this leads to not making any resolutions at all, and for others, this can be picking things that seem good at the time but overwhelming when trying to fit it in with your daily life. What if, rather than making specific goals that society deems important (i.e. losing weight, working out more, using a language learning app more consistently, etc.) you looked at it from another point of view?

If you are interested in setting a goal or resolution for 2025, maybe it’s time to work on behind-the-scenes topics instead. This could be working on your boundaries, learning to say “no” more, learning to say “yes” more, aiming to be happy and exploring what that looks like for you, or *gasp* not worrying about improving at all.

Getting inspiration

In Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes (2015), Rhimes talks about how she had an epiphany brought about by her sister who muttered “You never say yes to anything” (Rhimes, 2015, p.1). Rhimes proceeded to reflect on her life, what mattered most to her, and made a giant shift in how she led her life. It’s a great read, and I highly suggest it. But it doesn’t have to feel that big or take all of your time. In James Clear’s Atomic Habits, Clear (2018) breaks down the many small steps it takes to create desired habits, break undesirable habits, and all the science along the way. In case it’s not obvious, I love to read, and I find these types of books inspirational.

Maybe you’re wanting to create more time for yourself or time with family and friends. Perhaps you’re wanting to set a new reading goal for the year. Maybe you want to take a step back at work and give 80-90% instead of your full 100%. Or maybe you have spent all of your life trying to better yourself and are burned out with striving for more. What if, for one whole year, you just lived your life and didn’t try to learn how to code or become a master baker? What might it feel like, to just be ok with who you are right now?

Now what?

Whether you choose to set a new year’s resolution or goal for the new year or not, I hope you know it’s ok. All of it–choosing to set one, not setting one, completing your goal, sticking with it for half of a year, abandoning it and deciding it’s not for you after all, or doing nothing new at all. Life is already complicated and stressful enough as it is. However, if you are interested in exploring your current habits, boundaries, or what it would feel like to accept yourself fully as-is, and want to speak with a professional therapist, I hope you will consider reaching out and scheduling a free consultation call. Clients often reflect that our discussions have them shifting their views on specific situations or people in ways that gives them a different perspective on their options and paths forward.